Most times, when I remember some of the things I did in the past, I cringe in disgust. Instinctively, I say words like, ‘Ogechi you’re a goat.. A big goat’
I remember when I just entered university. In my 100l second semester, I got carried away by a friend. Due to her influence, and my foolishness I stopped attending classes, I stopped reading. I spent more time in the hostel sleeping and eating. During exams we invented what we called formation. Where 5 of us will deliberately arrange ourselves on the queue so that the invigilator will put us close to each other and we can cheat. Unfortunately, it didn’t always work out for me. The other four usually got to sit together while I was always thrown in front. But I never learned. I still wasn’t reading.
One semester later, my results were out and I had 7 carry overs in one semester. I nearly died from a heart attack. I couldn’t believe it. My so called friends had just one carry over In some irrelevant GST courses while I bagged Fs in very important 3 unit courses. I was dropped from medicine department while my friends continued to med school. I was so depressed.
This experience is one that leaves me upset whenever it crosses my mind. It’s the height of foolishness. I really would blame no one but myself. For years I kept calling myself foolish. I just blamed myself for being so foolish and getting carried away. My results the year before I met them was excellent. Just that one semester. I was pained.
Such a costly mistake. It cost me my first degree result. While my mates graduated with excellent grades, I graduated with a second class lower.
After years of feeling bad, and struggling to meet up in the Nigerian Labour market, I gradually forgave myself.
The other day I came across a second class upper graduate, he’s been jobless for years. We graduated the same year. This friend of mine, sorry to say, made me feel better. Another friend of mine graduated with a third class. He manages a big firm now. I who has been so hard on myself is not doing so bad either. There’s no formula to excellence. Something as trivial as university grades cannot limit your level of success in this life. It’s laziness that breeds failure. Not bad grades. As long as you sit up and work towards being great, then you can become anything you want..
I’m no longer hard on myself because life has taught me that your past can never define you. I have made thousands of mistakes yes, but I’ve only grown bigger and better. I have learnt and I have adjusted. And those bad experiences has only enlightened me and made me wiser. Life cannot creep up on me anymore. I’m very ready for it.