Although I abandoned the convent,
I didn’t abandon my unconditional love for Jesus.
And in that manner, I dated them;
With love reserved for God alone.
I wasted energy praying for men who
care nothing about me.
Believing in scumbags who
were there for their personal gains alone.
They gave nothing in the relationship yet I understood.
Isn’t love giving and not expecting back in return?
I thought.
They asked for money, I gave them.
They asked for my time, I gave them.
They asked for my love, I gave them.
They slowly sapped away my
strength and juices
till all that was left was chaff.
Leaving me completely drained
and strength less.
And then I gradually I learned,
I soon realized that
having the wrong people
in your life will definitely drain you.
Even now, I ask myself what I was doing with them?
Was I blind or something?
Well, maybe I was,
I guess I was too blind to see,
Too naive to know
that humans are the most selfish beings;
Fighting for their personal gains
at the expense of any thing
or anyone.
Love is a thing only found in stories.
In reality, you must love with your eyes open
less you get sold off to a land of perpetual misery.
A land filled with gnashing ad grinding of teeth.
Thank God for maturity and wisdom.
The things we do in the name of childishness is appalling.
Some give their school fees in the name of love,
others donate their kidneys
and a few others even
disown their own families.
To the world, they seem foolish.
But in reality,
they are the ones who have loved selflessly.
The heroic lovers who gave their all to their lovers.
But it was all a sham,
they gave all that for nothing.
Because in the end,
they were laughed at
and ridiculed.
It was all just some silly game
being played at their expense.
And so when the game ends,
And the schemes are revealed,
a raging monster is born.
Like a secret charm
which turns a man mad when seen,
a shy lover girl is transformed
once the scheme is revealed.
Transformed into an evil monster
which destroys anything
that crosses its path.
She is no longer
a naive girl loving foolishly.
Now, she is a coy monster,
attracting the best men –
the tall, rich and handsome kind –
attracting and destroying them;
So that she leaves them feeling
ten times as broken as she once felt
Only this time, they are suicidal.
And they never live to tell
their story.
But this is my own story.
My past mistakes have transformed me
into the monster that I have now become
Life Transformed me