I tell people that there’s no perfect marriage. You can either bask in the goodness of it, or cry over the bits of imperfection. It’s easy to assume that you married wrong from time to time. When he offends you in a way, you begin to wonder if you missed it. I get it.
Focus on the good parts and accept that you married a human being like yourself not a saint. Just as you’re filled with a thousand hidden flaws, so are they.
Recall how you make a resolution each year which you always fail to keep? Or how you ask God for forgiveness over and over again but still go back to the exact same sin days later ? That’s the exact way it is with marriage. Marriage is a reflection of our relationship with God.
They’ll offend you, realise what they’ve done, apologise genuinely and then go back to the exact same sin again. It’s easy to judge and say, “they’re not disciplined” or to think that “They do not respect or love me”; but it’s a childish way to think. The world does not revolve around you and not everything is about you. People are fighting real demons, you can either leave them to fight it, or help them fight it. Just don’t make them feel worse than they already feel.
Always focus on the good. The thing you focus on is what tends to grow bigger. Give them their flowers, always remind them about the good things you like about them, buy them presents, take care of them genuinely, serve them, honor them. The world is toxic as it is, be their peace. Treat them the way Christ has treated you since you were born.
Every person deserves a million chances, keep giving them the benefit of doubt. Marriage allows you to build your own perfect little bubble in this noisy world. Try to make it less toxic than the outside world. That’s the way to make it work. Make it peaceful, clean and happy. If you’re able to, raise happy and fulfilled children.
In spite of their flaws, be their peace. Focus on the positives. You will never find a perfect person.