Right now I’m just here thinking about my sorrows, and wondering what it is that I must do to be successful. In Nigeria where I’m from there are lots of crime and evil. So much witchcraft that make you suspicious of out-of-place events. After graduating from the university four years ago, I’m still job hunting. I have submitted more than 10000 job applications but I’ve only attended four job interviews. This makes me wonder whether everything is okay. Whether there’s not some witch behind, stealing the jobs I should be getting.
And then I keep asking myself, is there something I’m not doing right? Is there something I did wrong in the past that I’m being punished for? Is some witch really behind this? Is there something I should do to make God have mercy and relieve me of this suffering? Do I need to fast? Should I do midnight prayers? Are the prayers and fasting I have done so far not enough? Why does God keep quiet? Why does he permit so much suffering?
I was able to get satisfaction with this answer: God knows everything. Before I was born, he knew. He sent me to earth knowing how filthy it was. He sent me here knowing how much suffering exists here. He knew how much evil reigned on earth. But he still sent me. In spite of his love he sent me. I don’t know why but I know he sent me.
Jesus worked miracles when he was on earth that others may believe. If the world was perfect, there would have been no miracles to be performed. He said about the blind man: He was blind from birth that God may be glorified. I keep asking myself: Would I even care about God if I had everything I wanted? Would I carefully avoid sin like I do if I was some rich celebrity with everything I wanted? No.
You are able to appreciate light because you hate darkness, darkness is uncomfortable. The world is what it is. Earth is what it is. But how true is your love for Jesus, does it waver from a little suffering? Is it fake? Do you love him only for the things you could receive from him? Would you abandon him after you receive his gifts? Would you abandon him when the heat becomes too much? Would you compromise? Is your love solid? Heaven is not for small minded people. Heaven is for loyal armies. Earth is the testing ground. With series of events that life throws at you.. Your reactions to these little events portray the extent of your love for Jesus. It determines your faith in him. Your trust in him. Would you compromise?
God knows everything. He sees them all. So what do you do when it seems like he isn’t there?