Lately, people have been telling me that I have added weight. My first instinct is panic! I mean am I still attractive? And they’ll respond Nah! Not that kind of fat. It looks good on you! And I’ll become so relieved lol.
So I thought about my weight gain; what’s making me look chubby anyways, my diet hasn’t changed much so what’s New? Um… Oh! It’s my man 😛 Lol being around people who make you happy will definitely make you add weight haha. And it’s no farce, it’s true. In the past I used to be with certain people who would keep taking from me, draining me mentally, and leaving me looking thin and tired.
To be very honest, love is not suffering. It isn’t giving. Love is giving and taking. Love means both parties feeling happy and at peace with each other. So, any relationship that mentally drains you is not worth it. I wouldn’t want to specify what I mean by draining you mentally; because what is mentally draining for one person might not be so stressful for another. But ensure that you’re giving and receiving. Ensure that you’re not the only one doing the hard work.
There were so many sacrifices I made in past relationships, most of which were hardly reciprocated. Back then I was thinking love was all about being selfless. I thought love meant I had to keep giving and enduring, I thought love meant I shouldn’t expect so much and embrace whatever I’m given. But now? Ha! I am wiser. As a woman you should have standards and limits. You shouldn’t just accept anything. You should clearly state the things that are not acceptable and never compromise. This way you’ll find that you’re enjoying your relationship rather than enduring it. You’ll find that you’re happier. You’ll just stop nagging and stressing over irrelevant things. Because nobody is taking advantage of you. If your man makes you timid, then you have to learn to be bold and speak out. If there’s anything you’re not comfortable with, don’t entertain it. Don’t say love is about being selfless. Selflessness could easily turn to abuse. Back then, some of the things I endured was really no stress for me. But now, when I look back at it I cringe at how stressed out I must have been.
My consolation then was that people kept saying I was wife material. My ex would keep saying how much he admired my big heart, how much he admired my deep loving. But his admiration never changed his attitude. I wouldn’t want to list out stuff that drained me out in past relationships but I’ll tell you how different they are when compared with my current relationship.
My bf doesn’t get tired of telling me how special I am and how much he’s crazy about me. He doesn’t just say it, he acts like it. He makes me feel very important. I can’t count the number of sacrifices he has made on my behalf. I wouldn’t want to go into details but he’s so good that sometimes I get scared that I’m just dreaming. I can sacrifice anything for him because I know he has sacrificed so much more. We share the same values, the same ideas about life, we’re both romantics, he makes me feel like a vital part of his life. He makes me understand that life is definitely beautiful when you have the right people around you. He’s so crazy about my body; encouraging me to eat well and exercise so I stay in shape. He’s so passionate about my health. And he respects my views and opinions. And ofc he’s so handsome and smart. Lol I’m one vain woman! Haha!
So tell me how I wouldn’t add weight. Tell me why I wouldn’t bloat up and become as round as a ball! Lol I’m a happy woman. Yes I’m bragging. I know how depressed I was before I met him. I know the thrash I entertained in the name of love! I have been in abusive relationships! I have made horrible decisions! Scars that have refused to go. Scars that make me fall back into depression at the slightest thing. I am the most sensitive woman. And I feel the slightest things. So it’s very easy to make me sad or make me happy. This is why I was so content with my ex, thinking that was the happiest I could be. But my bf has shown me that there are many new ways to feel happiness. He gives me new reasons to be happy and at peace. I no longer feel like running away, I no longer feel like swallowing pills. I no longer feel like hiding. Now, I am happy and free, and I can freely talk to people without feeling so uneasy. Nothing is bothering me now. It’s like he took my worries and is bearing it himself. I am a happy woman because of the man in my life. All thanks to God.
I’m not giving anyone a yardstick for their relationship. I’m just trying to tell you how happy you can be. The word “abusive” is really broad. You wouldn’t know whether or not you’re in an abusive relationship until later, after you’ve met someone better. Some men do not deserve to even know your name, talk less of deserving to be your spouse. Open your eyes and look around you. Are you really happy? Is this what you really want? Can you keep doing this for the rest of your life? Because you both might get married.
This is my own one cent as to how happy a man can actually make you feel. But you should also learn to be happy by yourself. With or without a man. Spend out time to develop yourself and give yourself a treat from time to time. Understand that life is a personal race, and learn to take care of yourself. You’ll find happiness that way too.